I am frequently called “fearless.”
While I adore this description and hope it inspires other to take action, rise up, take risks and show up for themselves, I don’t find it to be accurate. I hold my fear close to me, for my observation only. And the actions I take are often in recognition of my fear and IN SPITE of my fear. As my dear friend Christina Davis says, “I do it afraid.”
In the name of conquering fears, I did something super daring. I WORE SHORTS.
Now, before you roll your eyes at me, I am the girl who grew up not turning over at the pool. That’s how much I detested my backside, my pale skin, the idea of people seeing me that I couldn’t see……. the list goes on. I’m also the girl who modestly "“dressed for my body type”, meaning I’ve tastefully covered, synched, layered and tailored my clothing to FIT IN without letting any of my more boisterous body parts standing out.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped questioning my rules. I didn’t wear shorts, anything deemed “boy cut”, two pieces of any nature or clothing that was too tight or "low cut.” I conditioned myself to ignore those clothing options, with the phrases, “that’s not for me” running through my head every time I saw a magazine ad or a human bolding sporting an item “I couldn’t wear.”
And then one day I had the realization.
I was online shopping and noticed a cute pair of shorts on a model who looked a lot like me, but my gut reaction remained the same. Since I am now too far along on this journey of questioning my fears, I quietly and cautiously called out my fear of shorts, clicking the order button while remaining convinced I would return them the following week.
They arrived. I slipped into them. And the world didn’t end. In fact, I turned around and what I found was shocking.
I liked what I saw.
In fact, I wore them instantly, with a quarter inch of lower booty showing just like those effortlessly thin high school girls I always dreamed of being.
These small fears feel so big in our minds.
We build up bypasses to get over them, under them and turn all around them, without realizing that occasionally, we simply need to GET THROUGH IT. I was wasting so much time worrying about what people thought about my white thighs that I didn’t stop to consider my own comfort.
This seems bizarre, but it happens all the time in fashion, business, friendship and relationships.
Can you think of a rule you’ve made for yourself that is founded in fear OVER fact?
Sure, we can all back up our fears with justified examples. But when do we cross the line between self preservation and justifying our insecurities?
So I’m creating a call to action! LET ME SEE YOUR SHORTS and tag me on Facebook, hashtag #unapologeticallyextra on Insta. Let’s show the world just how powerful our thighs can be.